Tom Waits’ Neighbor Listens to “Mule Variations” for the First Time

00:10 Dammit Tom! I was building a soap box car with the Big Brother program kid I mentor!

00:21 So I subscribe to US Weekly & Games Magazine! What the hell are you doing going through my mail Tom!?

00:39 I took the tire swing down from the pepper tree because a rat bit my nephew when he sat on it!

00:50 If you must know, I’m allergic to dogs and I have plenty of friends on a butterfly collecting forum!

00:52 My lawn is dying because unlike some people, I observe the drought restrictions imposed by the county!

01:26 I wasn’t pounding nails into a hardwood floor, I was reinforcing the racer to protect the driver in the unlikely event of a collision!

01:31 You heard low moans? How is that possible? How close to my house are you getting Tom!?

1:36 Of course I watch TV!! I invited you over to watch the game when you first moved into the neighborhood!

01:42 Ah, jeez…it’s impossible to overstate how common a router and a table saw are for the purpose of building a soap box racer…

01:50 Oh come on!!! You looked under my sink? When, the time I hosted poker night?!

01:54 The poison was for the aforementioned rat! Formaldehyde for the aforementioned butterfly hobby, I can’t believe you made a song about this…

02:11 I do have an ex-wife. She died after a lengthy illness and is interred next to her parents in Mayors Income. *SIGH* I miss her every day…

02:17 My successful Indonesian consulting business is what allows me to devote my spare time towards mentoring children!

02:39 I was on the roof with my flashlight because I thought I heard someone, whom I now know to be you, Tom, going through my garbage!

03:16 Dammit Tom!!! Well, all that aside, the rest of the album is excellent.

One thought on “Tom Waits’ Neighbor Listens to “Mule Variations” for the First Time

  1. this is brilliant. I’ll never be able to listen to this song the same way again.

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