Tom Waits’ Neighbor Listens to “Mule Variations” for the First Time

00:10 Dammit Tom! I was building a soap box car with the Big Brother program kid I mentor!

00:21 So I subscribe to US Weekly & Games Magazine! What the hell are you doing going through my mail Tom!?

00:39 I took the tire swing down from the pepper tree because a rat bit my nephew when he sat on it!

00:50 If you must know, I’m allergic to dogs and I have plenty of friends on a butterfly collecting forum!

00:52 My lawn is dying because unlike some people, I observe the drought restrictions imposed by the county!

01:26 I wasn’t pounding nails into a hardwood floor, I was reinforcing the racer to protect the driver in the unlikely event of a collision!

01:31 You heard low moans? How is that possible? How close to my house are you getting Tom!?

1:36 Of course I watch TV!! I invited you over to watch the game when you first moved into the neighborhood!

01:42 Ah, jeez…it’s impossible to overstate how common a router and a table saw are for the purpose of building a soap box racer…

01:50 Oh come on!!! You looked under my sink? When, the time I hosted poker night?!

01:54 The poison was for the aforementioned rat! Formaldehyde for the aforementioned butterfly hobby, I can’t believe you made a song about this…

02:11 I do have an ex-wife. She died after a lengthy illness and is interred next to her parents in Mayors Income. *SIGH* I miss her every day…

02:17 My successful Indonesian consulting business is what allows me to devote my spare time towards mentoring children!

02:39 I was on the roof with my flashlight because I thought I heard someone, whom I now know to be you, Tom, going through my garbage!

03:16 Dammit Tom!!! Well, all that aside, the rest of the album is excellent.

One Comment

  1. Lori Summerhayes says:

    this is brilliant. I’ll never be able to listen to this song the same way again.

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