FAQ for The Munchkin Who Hung Himself On the Set of The Wizard of Oz

UPDATE: We recorded this as a skit when we did our Wizard of Oz RiffTrax. Listen to Mike Nelson interview me as The Munchkin:

I recently learned that Tom Wilson, the actor who played Biff in Back to the Future, carries around a card of the questions he gets asked most frequently. Though this seems unusual, I did some research and it turns out it’s pretty much par for the course for anyone who’s appeared in a beloved movie. Here is a similar FAQ I found on the website of the infamous Munchkin who hung himself on the set of The Wizard of Oz.

Isn’t the whole “Munchkin hanging himself thing” an urban legend?
No, that is just a hurtful rumor

So you really can see your corpse swinging in the background of that one scene?
Well, no. That’s not me.

Beg your pardon?
That was another Munchkin who hung himself on the set

Can you actually see your corpse swinging in the background at any point of the movie?
You cannot

Then wouldn’t it perhaps make more sense, and dare I say, be a touch more honest to identify yourself as “A Munchkin who hung himself on the set of The Wizard of Oz” instead of “The Munchkin who hung himself on the set of The Wizard of Oz”? The other guys is a lot more famous.
No, because I gave the other guy the idea

Ah, I see. So you hung yourself first, then he copied you?
No, I told him he was a terrible actor and a bad father and the world would be better off without him being a part of it

And then he hung himself?
Later that night

And then you hung yourself out of grief over the pain you caused his family?
Don’t be ridiculous

Why did you hang yourself?
I served as the treasurer of the Lollipop Guild, and they caught me embezzling from the charity fund

Wait, the Munchkin Lollipop Guild was real?
I’ve said too much already

What was the guy who played the Scarecrow like?
Never met him

What was the guy who played the Tin Man like?
He wouldn’t leave his trailer while any Munchkin was within a 350 foot radius

What was the guy who played the Cowardly Lion like?
I hung myself before he arrived on set

Who did you meet?
One of the “Oh-Ee-Oh, Ee-Ohhhh-Oh” guards tripped over me

Which one?
Not the one who says “Hail to Dorothy, the wicked witch is dead”

Too bad, he was the only one of them who really distinguished himself in any way…
I know

Which scene did you actually hang yourself in?
The scene where the Tin Man kills a bunch of wolves that the Wicked Witch sent after him

That was part of the book, but it wasn’t in the movie version…
You can credit that fact pretty much 100% to my hanging. It caused quite a ruckus.

Are you implying that you…
Evacuated my bowels when I hung myself, yes. All over the yellow brick road. Toto kept trying to roll in it.

Who was responsible for cleaning something like that up?
The uglier two ladies from the Lullaby League

How have you managed to update this FAQ post-hanging?
They have computers in Hell

Hell?
Yes, I was a Jehovah’s Witness.

Wow, so it turns out you guys were wrong, huh?
No, we were right, I just wasn’t one of the 144,000

What operating system do the computers in Hell run, Microsoft Bob? Ha!
They run the latest version of Mac OSX

Oh…
But they deliver strong shocks to your genitals every 30 seconds and the “y” key sticks

How much for an autograph?
$35, no personalizations

4 Comments

  1. Kate Fall says:

    This is absolutely hysterical. Must forward to my friends with sick senses of humor. So pretty much all of them.

  2. moulin says:

    how can you hang yourself and be dead when your replying to all these messeages or notes whatever you wish to call them or was it all just an act.? so was it all pretend? did you guys just do it to see if anyone would notice the stunt that you pulled? or did someone actually hang themselves that is all we want to know. or is it a crane like other sites say it it? or a birds wing?

    did someone actually committ suicide on the set of The Wizard of Oz?
    YES OR NO?

  3. Really? says:

    Moulin,
    You’re an idiot, this whole things a spoof

  4. Me says:

    how did you not die?

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