FAQ for The Munchkin Who Hung Himself On the Set of The Wizard of Oz
Isn’t the whole “Munchkin hanging himself thing” an urban legend?
No, that is just a hurtful rumor
So you really can see your corpse swinging in the background of that one scene?
Well, no. That’s not me.
Beg your pardon?
That was another Munchkin who hung himself on the set
Can you actually see your corpse swinging in the background at any point of the movie?
Then wouldn’t it perhaps make more sense, and dare I say, be a touch more honest to identify yourself as “A Munchkin who hung himself on the set of The Wizard of Oz” instead of “The Munchkin who hung himself on the set of The Wizard of Oz”? The other guys is a lot more famous.
No, because I gave the other guy the idea
Ah, I see. So you hung yourself first, then he copied you?
No, I told him he was a terrible actor and a bad father and the world would be better off without him being a part of it
And then he hung himself?
Later that night
And then you hung yourself out of grief over the pain you caused his family?
Don’t be ridiculous
Why did you hang yourself?
I served as the treasurer of the Lollipop Guild, and they caught me embezzling from the charity fund
Wait, the Munchkin Lollipop Guild was real?
I’ve said too much already
What was the guy who played the Scarecrow like?
Never met him
What was the guy who played the Tin Man like?
He wouldn’t leave his trailer while any Munchkin was within a 350 foot radius
What was the guy who played the Cowardly Lion like?
I hung myself before he arrived on set
Who did you meet?
One of the “Oh-Ee-Oh, Ee-Ohhhh-Oh” guards tripped over me
Not the one who says “Hail to Dorothy, the wicked witch is dead”
Too bad, he was the only one of them who really distinguished himself in any way…
Which scene did you actually hang yourself in?
The scene where the Tin Man kills a bunch of wolves that the Wicked Witch sent after him
That was part of the book, but it wasn’t in the movie version…
You can credit that fact pretty much 100% to my hanging. It caused quite a ruckus.
Are you implying that you…
Evacuated my bowels when I hung myself, yes. All over the yellow brick road. Toto kept trying to roll in it.
Who was responsible for cleaning something like that up?
The uglier two ladies from the Lullaby League
How have you managed to update this FAQ post-hanging?
They have computers in Hell
Yes, I was a Jehovah’s Witness.
Wow, so it turns out you guys were wrong, huh?
No, we were right, I just wasn’t one of the 144,000
What operating system do the computers in Hell run, Microsoft Bob? Ha!
They run the latest version of Mac OSX
But they deliver strong shocks to your genitals every 30 seconds and the “y” key sticks
How much for an autograph?
$35, no personalizations